Featured Article in The Good Men Project

What Male Leaders Desperately Want

This is featured article from The Good Men Project, originally published here.

Laura Gates has listened to the deep dark fears of powerful men. And she knows what their hearts truly yearn for.

On a recent business trip a colleague introduced me to an old college friend she hadn’t seen in 20 years. While we stood talking at the rooftop bar overlooking the city skyline, I listened intently as my colleague’s friend shared his struggle finding purpose and meaning in his work.

I offered a few insights and he suddenly turned to me and said. “I just want to lay my head on your chest and tell you everything.”

While some people might have been offended, I took his impulsive reaction as a compliment. Clearly, he felt safe with me, like I was someone with whom he could rest his world-weary soul and unburden his troubles. I’ve been coaching men for over 20 years now, and, although not exactly said in those words, I know this is what many of my clients are desperately seeking: A loving and unconditional safe harbor where they can lower their defenses, metaphorically rest in my arms, and talk about whatever is causing pain in their hearts without fear of ridicule, retribution or rebuke.

Click here to read the entire article on The Good Men Project site.